I’ve been stalling on this post for almost two months now. So where do I begin? As 2018 was approaching I had great plans to hit the ground running on this year. I was all set to have the most productive year yet, I had written out plans with monthly goals and ideas all the way through December ’18. I was pumped. And then January actually came and it was the complete opposite. I walked into the new year and I was in a fog, I couldn’t focus, I’d sit down to work and my mind was blank (notice my last blog post was early January). I had no motivation. And I didn’t realize what was happening right away because we had a lot going on in January. We had a friend from Virginia stay with us then immediately after our friend from Ireland stayed with us. We had three busy days at the Long Beach ISSE hair show and in the middle of all that my husband was working day and night finalizing all the details needed to launch his new business.
With all these things going on to distract me it wasn’t until mid February that I realized what a funk I was in. And then one day it was like my eyes were opened and I could see the haze surrounding me. The second I realized it I saw so much clearer that it didn’t start in January. It had been creeping up on me since last fall but I didn’t realize because at first it was so subtle. An off day here, an off day there… It wasn’t until the full blown intensity hit me that I realized there was a problem and I had to address it.
I immediately started praying about it. What was “it” even? Was it work? Was it personal? At that point I didn’t know. So I prayed and I prayed. I realized pretty quickly that the fog, the lack of motivation and the resistance I felt was a result of my lack of sensitivity in paying attention to changes I needed to be making in my life. I was insistently pursuing the same road I had been on for years without looking up to see that it was time to turn down a new road.
Which brings me to the reason for this post. After days and weeks of prayer, of honestly seeking out the Lord for answers and direction and after conversations with my husband about everything going on I arrived at a fairly unexpected decision.
I will no longer be doing hair for weddings.
Believe me when I say I didn’t decide this easily or quickly. I spent a lot of time really diving into it and the further I dove the more confident and assured I felt in this decision. I had my moments of back-and-forth, should I or shouldn’t I… moments of doubt and to be quite honest, fear. All the while I knew that I would end up here. Because the truth is, although something is intended to be in your life for a time, that does not mean it’s intended to stay a part of your life forever.
I love doing hair, I love styling hair and I love doing hair for weddings. And to be quite honest, I don’t know if this means no more weddings forever or if this means no more weddings for now. What I do know is this isn’t a decision made out of lack of enjoyment or fulfillment. This is a decision made out of submission and trust in the Lord’s plan in my life even though that means the future I had planned and expected has been suddenly shifted into a wide open unknown.
There are many changes and new opportunities that I’m about to walk into and although I don’t know what to expect from these new aspects of my career, I’m excited for this new page in my story. And I will promise you this, even though I won’t be doing weddings beautiful hairstyling will still be a big part of it.